Why is my white dog now grey?

This is kind of like a 'Dear Abby' column but instead I'm calling it: 'Dear Tessie'.

Q.
Dear Tessie.
I took my white maltese shih-tzu to the dog grooming place shop thing because she was, ah, in need of grooming. She had been neglected since we have a new child in the family and we could no longer pay attention to her 23 hours a day.
I went to pick her up when she was finished and instead of a white dog there was a grey dog wagging her tail at me. I've had her genetically tested and she's the same dog. Why is she now grey?
From Worried and Confused Dog Owner 135445


A.
Dear Worried and Confused Dog Owner 135445.
This is not a common problem. Dog grooming place shop things, as you call them, do not normally cause your pet (now politically called animal companion) to change colour. I've taken time this week to spend some time talking to your animal companion and she's given me a full update on the happenings on that day. Did you know she could talk? We rarely come across as intelligent animal companions as this. Although I must warn you - she told me she is her losing her ability to speak because of the neglect received by her in recent months.

Apparently after she had been groomed by Groomer #1 she was placed in a cage to await your arrival. She was somewhat embarrassed to talk about this part of the experience as the groomer has made her feel quite ashamed by her new haircut. Her ears are bare and as these aren't her best feature she would like in future for a slighter longer cut in the area.
Whilst in the cage, a second animal companion was placed in a cage and the Groomer #1 left the room and closed the door. The other animal companion was apparently quite troublesome and a bad influence on your dog. Apparently, he talked her into using teamwork to move their cages across the floor to reach some tasty treats. She was unsure of the following details but in their haste to feast on the treats, they knocked over a large bucket which fell on a device she described to me and I've understood to be a hyrobath. This caused a fire to break out and as I mentioned, she is unsure of the following details. It wasn't until Dog Groomer #3 (Dog Groomer #2 was on a lunch break) smelt smoke that the door was opened and the dogs saved. She is also aware that she could be charged for the ensuing destruction of the hydrobath and wishes for this information to remain confidential. The fire caused both dogs to suffer severe smoke inhalation and the ash caused your dog's coat to turn from white to grey.

I've spoken with the Dog Grooming shop (CLEAN-DOGS-R-US) and they've offered to pay for a full day-spa-visit with your local vet where your animal companion will be observed for a full day to check for concerning signs of smoke inhalation (sever coughing, asthma etc), and also assured us that Dog Groomer #1 has been replaced. You may also be interested to know that dogs with upper jaw which jut out higher than the lower jaw are three times as likely to be led astray by fast-talking troublesome animal companions. This statistic will certainly help her should the case be taken any further by CLEAN-DOGS-R-US.

I wish you all the best with your future endeavours and your talking now-grey animal companion. She should return to full colour in 4-6 years.

Kindly,
Abby.

If your animal companion is grey after a visit from a Dog-Grooming salon, they may have also suffered smoke inhalation.

This is the only time that this blog will switch to a Dear Abby-style post. If you didn't understand what this post was about, it probably wasn't meant for you.